Midnight

And so begins another day....

My mother spent most of last night on the verge of tears. She can get on my nerves sometimes... but I don't like seeing her like this. My father is in Madrid so he can't do anything about it either. My brother just doesn't care. It's all because of him anyway. He's an officer in the Swedish Airforce and today, in about nine hours, he'll be going to Afghanistan. My mother is scared to death that something will happen to him. Me? I don't care much. He can do whatever he wants. But I still don't like to see my mother like this. She has enough on her mind as it is. She shouldn't have to worry about her son not coming home.

So yeah... today will be fun. My mother said she'd wake me up at eight so that I have time to say goodbye. I'd rather sleep, to be honest, but I'll be there for her if nothing else. Then when he's gone, my mother and I are supposed to head into town, have lunch and go shopping for fabric. It has the potential to be a great day so I'm hoping it will be. My mother will need it.

Then, at two in the afternoon I have an appointment with my shrink. Not sure I want to go. I don't want to break down in her office again. Hn... I always swore to myself never to tell a 'professional' about my problems but then... well, I did. And just look where it got me. *sigh*

Anyway... when I get home I think I'm going to start to rummage through my closet a bit for things I don't need anymore. I have a dress, three blouses, possibly a corset and a pair of boots that I don't think I want to keep. And I really want money that I can spend. I'll probably put up pictures of all the things I'm selling here tomorrow sometime.

I need to spoil myself a bit right now. Going to Paris on Friday will be nice, of course, but as soon as I get home things will return to the way they were. So I have decided to buy some things I really want. A doll is on the top of my list.

Uhm... yes. That's all for now, I think.

Thanks for listening while I ramble. Or reading... well, you get what I mean, anyway.