Friday, January 23, 2009


Lately my life has not quite been my own.

Due to my injured elbow I have not been able to study nor do spectacular things with the few loved ones I have. To say I have been bored would be an extreme understatement. Uppcon, a swedish anime and manga convention, has been the only real highlight these last couple of weeks. I was reunited with my long lost sister, who has fallen under the spell of a group of evil Cosplayers!, and managed to bring home yet another addition to my rapidly growing wardrobe.

Today was the first day, not counting my trip to the physiotherapist, that I went out of my family's apartment and my destination was, believe it or not, my school. Lack of motivation and other misfortunes has prevented me from wishing to go back to that ... place, but today my father finally forced me to go. The trepidation I felt was not as great as when I was told I had to spend the days before Christmas in the hospital, however, my stomach certainly decided to rebel against me either way. Fortunately, the meeting went surprisingly well and I now only have a few classes a week on my schedule.

Another rather fortunate thing came out of going outside my door today as well. Just before the meeting in school, my father and I stopped at a fastfood restaurant, which name I shall not divulge, and as I sat waiting for my food a gentleman came up to me. "It is nice to see someone who dares to dress as elegantly as you do, my lady." He said and explained that he was a speaker of some sort and had recently made a speech somewhere after which he had been rewarded with a bouquet of flowers. But since he found me to be so out of the ordinary he decided to give me the flowers instead.

Now that has never happened before!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Living - as we know it...

to live
–verb (used without object)
1. to have life, as an organism; be alive; be capable of vital functions: all things that live.

Living is one of the few things I figured would be simple. It is what we all should be doing from the moment we were born until the moment we die. Simple. In other words, there is no "Meaning of Life" and no greater purpose to achieve. Humans are simply built, like every other organism on this earth, to be alive for a time, reproduce at some point, and then die. And this is how we lived many, many years ago. We just wanted our species to survive, is all.

Today, it is all very different. I don't know when, but somewhere along the way of our existance we got the idea that we were better than all the other species on this planet. Because we could think, and talk, we figured that we no longer belonged to the animal kingdom. After all, we were so different from the other species.

Ridiculous, but I shall overlook that for now.

We really like thinking that we are better than everyone else, and perhaps there is nothing wrong with that. It still remains a fact though. Just like we are greedy and selfish. All of these qualities have led, or rather forced, us to believe that we deserve the perfect life. A life that consists of wealth, hard work, education and perhaps even love. Without realizing it, we once again strive to be better than others. After a while, we care about nothing else than our own success, our own selfish ambitions. Suddenly, life got a lot more complicated.

I am not claiming to be any different than the rest. I too, would like nothing more than to live the glorious life full of beautiful dresses, grand apartments and extravagant meals. I most likely would not even care about anything else as long as I was happy. It would be useless to pretend otherwise.

In the end, it is rather funny... No matter how much you twist and turn it, life, whether it is treating you well or not, will always be about you. And it will never be simple. It's just human nature.

So perhaps we really are different than the animals. After all, I have never seen a lion, or wolf for that matter, be so selfish unless it concerned their survival.

Oh, and I have no idea where I was going with this. I just needed it out of my system and since this is not an IB essay it does not really have to have a point.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Thursday, January 1, 2009

It seems that I still have some tears to shed...

If I touch a burning candle.

I can feel no pain

In the ice or in the sun it's all the same...

A day of Gone With the Wind and Corpse Bride leaves me feeling almost nostalgic... Perhaps it is the medicine that is speaking but I feel like either one of those realities would suit me better than this one...

Silly isn't it?