Wikipedia

I found out today that my dear friend Kreia has put a picture of me on the Lolita Fashion page on Wikipedia! :O Without telling me too! It's a fairly old picture and not very pretty, so I am going to get her for this someday, but for now I thought I'd share the link so you all can laugh at me and Yuki.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolita_fashion

Autumn in Gamla Stan

These are some of the photos that Askar Ibragimov took of me last weekend. Hope you enjoy!

I ripped my favorite book to pieces last night... I got it when I was twelve and I had read it so many times that it was starting to fall apart anyway... But I loved that book and I would have kept reading it over and over again. Unfortunately... Sometimes I just can not seem to control my feelings, no matter how hard I try.

Everyone thinks I'm alright, but I'm not.

I miss Paris so much right now~

For Someone

I sat and looked at some old photos today. I do not know why I did it, but when I saw that old nickname there and the word "Mine~" next to it I could not help myself from clicking on that link. Of course, you had cleaned out most of the photos, but there were still some left. Most of them were taken while I knew you, but some were taken before that and yet I still recognized some things that you had told me about. Back then I believed everything you said completely. Unfortunately, I have come to the realization that I really have no idea if you were ever telling me the truth about things. It does not even matter if it was a small insignificant matter or an enormous thing like saying you were alone - they were all still lies. It made me think that maybe you never told me the truth? And that maybe... maybe even those three words you whispered to me on the phone that night was a lie.

Anyway, I have ranted about these things many times now... But the thing is... When I saw those old pictures... Especially the Princess one, and I think you know which one I am talking about, I felt this growing pit in my stomach. I actually felt sad. It was not even because I missed what we have... Actually, who am I kidding? I miss what we had, I miss the times when I actually believed you loved me, and, as I have said many many times, Ignorance can truly be Bliss. I was so mappy back then, and I miss that feeling. But, no matter how much I miss it, the thing that saddens me the most is that I ever believed any of the lies that came out of your mouth. I am so mad at myself for falling into the trap you set for me... The same one you have set for all your friends now. But hey, we were more than friends right? At least I would like to think that we were... even for the shortest time. Perhaps not... In hindsight everything looks so different, doesn't it? I hate that I was not different like I foolishly believe that I was and I hate that I tricked myself into thinking that you would not deliberately try to hurt me.

I fell into the trap... More than once actually... You know that as well as I do... But I have learned my lesson now... I will not let myself be fooled another time; I want nothing more to do with you.

Damn it all...

I am too good of a lier.

Put on your Sunday clothes when you feel down and out~

Though my medication has yet to have any effect I have been trying to enjoy myself as much as possible for the last couple of days and tried to ignore my fatigue. I have a hard time keeping my eyes open at the best of times, something that can be very troublesome as I am sure you understand, but yesterday I still went out with my friend even though my body was screaming at me to stay home. We dressed up all pretty and went about town; having lunch at my favorite café and then spent the rest of the afternoon taking pictures at various locations in Gamla Stan. It was a lot of fun, though I used up what little energy I had in store and ended up half-dead by the time I got home.

I really like wearing my white dress, even though most people confuse me with being a bride on her way to her wedding.

Saku is so cute!

Eventually we ended up in the gardens outside the House of Nobles (Riddarhuset) where we spent most of our time just fooling around and having a great time.

Also, when we arrived at the House of Nobles, we saw these wonderfully dressed musicians waiting to be granted access into the large house. I am not entirely sure what kind of event that was going on that day and that caused them to dress like they did, but I am just as glad to have seen them anyway.

Later, when I finally got home, I was so tired I could barely stand and once Saku had left all I wanted was to go to sleep. However, my mother made me an offer that I could not refuse so I ended up staying awake for yet another couple of hours so that she could give me a massage while we watched a movie. The movie, that I got to pick, was Hello, Dolly a wonderful, although perhaps a bit silly, musical featuring Barbra Streisand. It was filled with beautiful dresses, extravagant hats and funny songs and it provided glorious entertainment for the entire three hours that it played. Naturally, I was completely exhausted by the end of it, but I was really relaxed and happy so it was all worth it in the end. I really recommend Hello, Dolly to anyone who has not seen it and is interested in older musicals.

Anyway... That is all for now. Tomorrow school will start again and I am sure that I will have a lot of things to complain about so be ready to read about it. Until then, I wish you all well~

xxx

Kamalia

Brogatan 13B, Umeå

God, I miss that house...

It is official...

I am suffering from depression. Or at least that is what the doctor said when I went to see her about my sleeping problems today. She had me talk about my life for almost an hour only to come to the conclusion that maybe she should perscribe from Antidepressive medication and some sleeping pills. Then she said: "Some people take these pills during the day (the sleeping pills) to supress an anxiety attack, but I guess you do not want to do that since it will make you even more sleepy than you already are..." Great job at stating the obvious there, doctor!

And yes, I am slightly bitter... And very tired. So none of this is making much sense to you, I'm sure. Maybe I should just go back to sleep now.... Good night.

I'm in love~

For a very long time I have been looking at the clothing from Metamorphose Temps de Fille and never really found anything that I thought was spectacularly pretty. In fact, it has almost been three years since I wanted to buy something from them, their School Bag not included. However, today I went to their website only to discover that they had put up things from their Winter Collection for people to Reserve and it is safe to say that I have once again fallen in love with this brand~

Now, the dresses I looked at were not quite my taste, but I did find several items that were just begging to come live in my wardrobe.

First of all I have always wanted a pair of prince pants and if these Velveteen Prince Pants turn out as pretty in real life as they do on these scetches I might be seriously tempted to buy them.

Next comes this absolutely gorgeous pirate styled Velveteen Swallow-tail Jacket which stole my heart as soon as I laid eyes on it. It makes me want to dress up as a pirate and go out and raid on the seven seas~

This blouse was something of a longshot for me when I clicked on the small picture of the product scetch. Although the model was a nice one I was afraid that it would be covered in the same raschel lace that Metamorphose usually uses and that I am, in fact, not so fond of. However, I was pleased to see that instead of the itchy plastic lace there was soft, and very pretty, tulle lace. And so, this blouse quickly found its place on my wishlist.

Last, but not least, comes this adorable Velveteen Cropped Jacket. Normally I would think something like this, with that many bows, was too Sweet for my taste, however, there is something about this particular Bolero-type jacket that I simply adore. Naturally, I would never buy it in pink, but I do think that the Off white, or possibly Borneo Green, version would suit me fairly well. I will just have to put together an outfit to match.

That is, if I will ever be able to afford all of these wonderful things...

Hmm... I shall have to find a better income than the 1050SEK I get every month for going to school.

And yes I know there are bigger problems in the world than not affording Burando clothing, but at the moment I do not care. Besides, I could really do with some cheering up right now.

Baking~

Mia and I did some baking yesterday. It was a lot of fun even though we ended up making a lot more things than we had planned :)

Our cupcakes turned out the best I think. Mia taught me how to make this really sweet fluffy frosting so now I can bombard my friends with pretty cupcakes.

I tried to make a star pattern, but it did not go so well...

These cookes, although not as pretty as the cupcakes, were really tasty~

This pie was made out of the huckleberries that Mia's father had picked that very same day~

Due to the fact that we made far too much frosting to go with the cupcakes, Mia and I decided we'd try to make another kind of cake that we could fill with the leftover frosting as well as raspberry jam... Unfortunately, it was getting late and we were getting tired so instead of following the recipe like we should have, we just make the cake the way we THOUGHT was the right one. Of course we failed quite miserably. The cake turned out to be the ugliest thing I had ever baked.

Since we had used both the frosting and the jam to fill it, the cake turned out to be really mushy and a pinkish goo kept on running out the sides of it. Not to mention it had the consistency of something spongy. Luckily, it tasted really good, so if we had actually bothered to follow the instructions it probably would have turned out great. However, considering the way it looked, we decided to make it into an entirely new cake which we call:

~The Frozen Almost-Striped Spongebob Cake from Hell~

Anyway, despite the epic failiure of the Spongebob cake, the evening was wonderful and we had a lot of fun so I look forward to doing it again :)

Teatime at Chaikhana~

Yesterday I spent a whole wonderful afternoon at Teahouse Chaikhana with Mia. We drank a very nice, although perhaps a bit bitter, tea called Pondicherry and talked for hours about anything that came to mind. I have not had such a relaxing day in a long time.

Now, I shall return to reading The Great Gatsby for my English class and then, perhaps, have some more tea.

xxx

Kamalia