Funerals and Birthdays

So here's an update of what's been going on lately....

On February 8th I went to the funeral of one of my cousins. I did not know him too well and we weren't even blood related (He's my halfbrother's biological cousin, not mine) but he was still family. 

The funeral itself was a somber affaire, like they usually are but there was one thing I found especially beautiful. When we arrived to the chapel the sky was grey and the ground covered in snow. Then, when we were supposed to go out and bring the coffin to the grave, it started snowing. Big, white snowflakes were falling from the sky and everything was so quiet. It kept going as we all walked in a hoard of black dressed people through the woods to the gravesite. And it never stopped. In fact, it kept snowing all through that day and the next one. 

There was something very touching about that. 

This is what I wore to the funeral, along with my thick black coat. It was freezing cold but I couldn't bring myself to care.

While we were standing there at the grave, and I had said my farewells to Victor, I decided to take the time to say farewell to something else as well. Something I have carried with me for a very long time. I figured it would be better if I act as if it had died. Then I can bury it, mourn it and then move on. It will make things a little easier, at least. I want to be done with it. 

I want to be done with you. 

No doubt there will be times when I still will think about you, but at least there will be no more What If's. That's a small comfort, if anything.

~~~

The next day it was my Birthday. February 9th. I turned 22 years old.  

Originally I had intended to spend the day playing games and drinking tea like usual, but then a few weeks ago I was talking to a group of friends about meeting up sometime and I thought... We might as well meet up on the 9th, if they were all free that day. Which they were. So we decided to have a teaparty at my place. It was meant to be a celebration of both mine and Tea's birthday, but she ended up not feeling well that day so she couldn't come. :(

Everyone else came though. My, Varga, Hillevi, Sandra and Josefine. We ate a lot of cake, cookies, cupcakes and thaifood, drank a lot of tea and just had a wonderful time. It was much nicer than sitting alone, I must admit ;)

This is the outfit I wore :3 I really love the blue Alice and the Pirates Onepiece I got for Christmas. It's wonderful to wear both on it's own and with another dress over it. 

I'll upload pics of my presents some other time~

Birthday Teaparty~

I found some pictures from the Teaparty last Sunday~

All pics were sneakily stolen from Arathin. Though of course it probably wasn't so sneaky since I asked first.... Doh!

Package Days are good days :3

I got the package containing my last birthday gift from my parents today! Pretty clothing from Innocent World :3 I'll take some photos of my own tomorrow, but this is what we had ordered:

Birthday Updates

Another birthday has passed and this was the soundtrack :3 It just seemed fitting somehow. Still the day was fairly good I suppose. I managed to keep from hoping for things so I wasn't disappointed and I got some really sweet gifts from certain people.

My gift list so far:

A thermos to keep my tea in :3

1000SEK from my parents that will probably be spent on shoes

Two bouquets of roses, yellow and red.

A really pretty newly edited photo from Amanda.

Five in-game companion pets from my guildmates in WoW

Oh and I spent most of the day talking to a very sweet person on the phone. He called me sometime after midnight to wish me Happy Birthday and then again this morning and tonight. It was really nice and he managed to put a smile on my face for most of the day. So thank you!

Oh I almost forgot! My parents also let me order clothing from Innocent world a week ago or something, so they will come in a few weeks I think.

Birthday Gift

I found this in my mailbox today :3 Amanda was nice enough to edit this pic and send it to me for my birthday! I love it. Thanks, honey!

Happy Birthday to me~

I know it's silly, but I really love my WoW Guild... They were the first ones to wish me Happy Birthday today. It meant a lot.

Birthday thoughts, and other things.

I just realized it is my birthday next week. It feels so odd, it certainly does not feel like a whole year has passed. Or maybe it does, I don't know. The last year has been slow in some ways and really fast in others. I do not think I will celebrate my birthday this year. I was briefly entertaining the idea of having another teaparty but... it is rather too late to start planning one now and... I just do not feel like it.

On the upside though, I have submitted the form to get a table at Uppcon's Artist's Alley so I will most likely be selling my hats there in June. Also I will spend this week working on several orders I have at the moment. So that is good. Not to mention I have a dear friend who has offered to help me with a website and some other things. I'm leaning more and more towards really putting all my energy into the hatmaking. Perhaps it will work, perhaps not... it's worth a shot at any rate.

Why does my heart cry, feelings I can't hide...

Teaparty

I was thinking of having a teaparty on February 6 to celebrate my twentieth birthday. It will he held at my apartment in Stockholm and it will start at 2pm. Anyone who can and wants to come is welcome :)

Nineteen Winters Today

Happy birthday to me

Be my Valentine

My birthday is tomorrow and Valentine's day is five days after that and yet I don't look forward to either one. Each year I make a vow to myself to make both of these days eventful but so far I have failed miserably.

My birthdays are usually spent like any other day, except for the opening of gifts, and I constantly find myself dissappointed by the fact that no one I know took the time to plan something or at least take me out somewhere. And after eighteen years of the same thing over and over again, can you blame me for giving up hope? I don't expect anything out of my birthdays anymore, not even gifts. My parents buy me enough things on the other days of the year so I really do not need another heap of presents just because I happened to be born on this day.

It's a little different with Valentine's day though. My hope has diminished but it's not completely gone yet. Still, I do not expect much on February 14th this year either. It's rather sad actually... Is it really to much for a girl to ask for someone take her out on a romantic date once a year? It does not even have to be really special... I just don't want to spend the entire day at home again...

So, will you please make me a very happy girl and be my Valentine?