Sometimes I amaze myself.

Sometime I really, truly amaze myself with how badly I can manage to screw things up.

I woke up at around 11.15 today. I had been having a nightmare and it was my father's voice that finally woke me. He was wondering if I shouldn't get up already if I was going to the 5th anniversary of the Swedish Lolita Forum, Gothloli.se. A celebration that started with a museum visit at noon. I almost panicked right there and then but I managed to convince myself to calm down and that I could get ready and still make it for the Afternoon Tea at 3pm. I had over three hours so really it shouldn't be a problem. I could take my time, calm down and get presentable.

Then at around 12.00 I got a text message from my hat making instructor saying that they missed me at the fascinator course. That started at 10 this morning...

I had completely forgotten about it.

Cue panic, anxiety - you name it. The anniversary celebration, although fun, only cost me about 100 SEK so it wasn't that horrible a thing to miss. The hat course on the other hand... my father payed a lot of money for it and I have now completely screwed it up. It's only two days and missing one would mean that... There's barely any point in going at all tomorrow. Though I probably will anyway. For my father's sake. But loosing out on half the course, probably including ALL of the basic knowledge... Fuck. How is it that I always manage to pull stunts like this?

I haven't felt so incredibly useless in a long time.